Love and Liberation: Breaking the chains of Patriarchy

For decades, the lives of Kashmiri women have been framed within rigid societal norms, heavily dictated by patriarchal values and restrictive laws. Today, a new chapter is being written—a chapter of freedom, choice, and courage.

Following the abrogation of Article 370 and the removal of Article 35A, Kashmiri women are stepping out of the shadows, challenging deeply entrenched customs, and marrying outside of Kashmir. Despite facing relentless harassment, these women are making brave choices, defying outdated beliefs that have kept them from exercising their fundamental rights. In midst, of heated debates on peace, conflict and ongoing crossborder terrorism from Pakistan, we tend to oversee the challenges in the lives of people.

With this article, we tend to highlight the stories of these resilient women are both a celebration of independence and a reminder of the ongoing struggle for equality.

Breaking Free: A New Dawn for Kashmiri Women

The abrogation of Article 370 and the removal of Article 35A marked a significant shift in the socio-political landscape of Jammu and Kashmir. While the impact of these changes has been widely debated, one notable outcome has been the empowerment of Kashmiri women.

The kashmiri society is deeply chauvanistic and sexism is normalised. Recently, many girls were hurled with mysoginistic comments during a film screening of Laila Majnu in Srinagar. Women are often shot down from expressing their point of view in public and engaging in public life. For the first time in over 75 years, they are beginning to make independent decisions about their studies, professions, passions, including whom they choose to marry.

Historically, Kashmiri women were bound by conservative muslim society’s patriarchal norms and the state subject rights of Jammu and Kashmir that restricted them from marrying outside their community and the region without severe consequences, including losing their property rights. With these legal barriers removed, women are now free to marry whomever they choose, regardless of religion or regional background, without fearing the loss of their heritage or rights.

Consider the story of a young woman from Baramulla who recently married a Maharashtrian man. This union, which would have been unthinkable just a few years ago. It is a testament to the power of change. The students who are moving out of valley are now freely looking for better opportunities in other parts of country to secure a better future and it involves finding their significant other in states like Delhi, Mumbai, Patna or Lucknow.

Despite facing significant backlash from conservative factions, Baramulla-Mumbai couple stood firm in their love and commitment to each other. There was a police complaint filed against the man by J&K police after the girl was reported missing.

This incident was used to create disturbance. After facing harrassment, the girl even took to social media to put out her statement that she had converted to Hinduism as per her own will to marry her fiance from Mumbai. Their marriage symbolizes a break from the restrictive norms that have long governed Kashmiri society, offering a beacon of hope to others who wish to follow in their footsteps.

Another inspiring example is of a young woman from Srinagar who married a man from New Delhi. This couple, too, faced severe online harassment and threats, as fundamentalists sought to undermine their union. The personal details of the girl were leaked online to incite hate against the couple.

Showcasing that personal happiness and choice must not be sacrificed at the altar of archaic societal expectations. Their courage sends a powerful message: the right to choose one’s partner is a fundamental human right that must be protected. There are many girls in Baramulla, Srinagar and Shopian who have exercised their right to marry outside and have recieved the support of their family. Nevertheless, there are many families that succumb to societal pressure of marrying outside the region. Even marrying a muslim outside Kashmir is seen as taboo. These stories of women holding their ground for choosing their profession and partners is exemplary.

While these stories are inspiring, they also highlight a disturbing reality. Women who choose to marry outside Kashmir often face severe online harassment. They are doxxed, ridiculed, and threatened by hate mongers and fundamentalists who see their choices as a direct affront to traditional values. This digital violence serves as a stark reminder that, despite legal progress, the fight against patriarchy is far from over.

Online harassment of these brave women must not be tolerated. It is crucial that authorities take proactive measures to ensure the safety and privacy of these couples. Laws must be enforced to protect them from cyberbullying, and platforms must be held accountable for preventing the spread of hate speech. Additionally, local communities need to be educated on the importance of personal choice and freedom, encouraging a culture of respect and acceptance.

The civil society in Jammu and Kashmir must play a pivotal role in providing support and protection to these couples who dare to defy societal norms. Policies need to be implemented that offer provisions for their safety and privacy. Additionally, legal frameworks should be strengthened to punish those who engage in harassment and intimidation. This includes creating safe spaces, both online and offline, where they can seek help and support without fear of retribution.

From a feminist perspective, the importance of dismantling conservative shackles of patriarchy in Kashmir cannot be overstated. For too long, these rigid structures have kept Kashmiri women from exercising their autonomy. Liberation comes not just in the form of legal rights but also in the freedom to make personal decisions without fear of retribution.